A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, ‘Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.’
The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.’
The Lord said, ‘Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.’
The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, ‘Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make her truly happy.’
The Lord replied, ‘You want two lanes or four on that bridge?’
A Nebraska corn farmer walks into a NYC bank and tells the loan officer he is going to Norway on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that they will need security for the loan, so the farmer hands over the keys to his new Ferrari. The car is parked in front of the bank. The corn farmer produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. The bank’s president enjoys a good laugh over this farmer using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
Two weeks later, the farmer returns, repays the $5,000 and interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The farmer replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41, and expect it to be there when I return?”
Ah, ya gotta love those Nebraska corn farmers.