Golf Rule Changes

Obama has recently appointed a “Golf Czar” and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective June 1, 2010.

This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten as we speak.

Here are a few of the changes:

Golfers with handicaps:
– below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
– between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
– above 18 will get a $25 check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:

-for handicaps below 10, an additional $10.
-between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
-above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.

The term “gimme” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:

-handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
-handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
-handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.

This is intended to ‘redistribute’ the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only ‘net score’ against every other player’s gross score.

These new rules are intended to “CHANGE” the game of golf.

Golf must be about Fairness.

It should have nothing to do with Ability.

I Hope My Wife Doesn’t See This

Your Country Needs You (To Shop)In these rough economic times, getting the money churning is the key to getting back on track. I have a feeling there are more then a few good men and women who would love to make shopping their patriotic duty.

Politicians and central bankers in the UK and across the world are battling to get you to spend more money on non-essential items so lack of demand does not send the global economy into freefall.

But even in the current hard times there are still dissenting voices who want to use this opportunity to tackle consumerism once and for all. They say our love of stuff we often don’t really need and can’t afford is what got us into this mess in the first place. Shopping became our god and must be toppled, they say.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are plenty of people who will stick up for shopping – as something to cheer us up when we are down, as a social activity, as an assertion of freedom and as the “vice” that could save us.

I think we all can agree that getting the money churning is a good thing but we as consumers need to make sure we don’t spend more than we have. I am hoping the days of “90-days same as cash” and “no interested until 2047” are behind us and people start shopping smarter.

Taxes Explained in Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this…

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

‘Since you are all such good customers,’ he said, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.

‘Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what a bout the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But, if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men beg an to compare their savings.

‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!”

Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man.
‘I only saved a dollar, too.. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!

”That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man.
‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two?
The wealthy get all the breaks!

”Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison.

‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!

“The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night, the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.